Just Pretend
by DontHateMeCuzImBeautiful
Summary: JXR "It wasn’t about family, or love, or even betrayal; this was strictly a feeling between the two of us that simply had to be acted upon or we’d crumble and fall. We needed this more than anyone or anything else." DARK FIC WARNING: Not what you expect


**Disclaimer: …**

**A/N: Um…yeah. There really are no words for this bit of, um, whatever this is. In fact, I think I'm gonna take it down after a while. I was just re-reading Breaking Dawn and wondered, "If Jacob and Rosalie hate each other so much I bet they'd love each other in another life." Well, instead of another life I just wrote this. Honestly, Rosalie is one of the most complex characters I've ever written and I don't plan on taking her on as a complete fic quite yet. Anyway, I'll let everyone else read and tell me how absolutely weird this was… **

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The dark night envelopes me, tightens like the thickest blanket I've ever known. Enshrouding me in its mysteries the blackness and I become one and the same, a connection that goes as deep as the one between…_us_. I hear the careful crunch of a leaf, the whistle of the wind through the trees as I try to make myself blend into the forest. It's time, as usual, for that moment when I get to hear his voice again; get to bask in the absolutely twisted situation where I break my promise to my mate and gain _his_ duly noted reprimand. I feel like such a traitor, an absolute whore when it comes down to it; but I've waited decades for this…urge, to go away, the one that even my husband can't quench anymore.

That's why I've turned to Jacob.

It seems impossibly unfair that I should even be getting away with this a second time. After all, we both practically live in the same house and are already attached to someone else. Yet it was our differences that attracted us to each other despite the fact. We tried our best to get used to the strange lust that sprung up between us out of what felt like nowhere. One day he was reaching for Renesmee, I looked up into his eyes, and there was a…_jolt_. Bam! The way that he stared at me for that brief moment, it was how I'd longed for everyone else to look at me for years. His dark brown eyes were filled with the emotion I couldn't seem to wrestle even from my own husband.

_Need_.

As quickly as it happened the moment was over, but the memory still haunts me, for it has led me to that which I will never be forgiven for. Apparently the moment lingered with him as well. We acted normally, as though the look that passed between us never existed; the monotony of life droned on.

Yet behind our outwardly public distaste for one another, something deeper, darker and much more potent began to form. Annoyed shoves turned into challenges of will; Arguments over the baby came fewer and farther in between as they stirred up recall of the afternoon so long before. It built like a flame, higher and higher until it spun out of control and someone had to act to stop it before someone else noticed what was going on in our heads.

I confronted him.

It's now that I wonder what would have happened if I had just let it die, if I had continued to ignore him as though he were only a household pet that required minimal caring and attention. Who am I really kidding though? I would never have let a look like that to just pass away into time. I had to act on it, know that it was everything I wanted.

Without a word we went out deep into the forest, running until we were almost in Toronto. The excuse was that he was going back to check with the pack (the only reason he'd leave Renesmee's side normally) and I was going hunting because my husband had gone away for the weekend with Edward. Alice wouldn't be able to see us because of what he was, and he would go back down to La Push before returning so that my scent would wash off of him.

Everything was set.

Deep in the forest outside of Toronto he still refused to look at me, instead stopping several feet in front of me with his back turned my way. He wouldn't look at me at all; I discovered later that it was because he didn't want Edward to read his mind and know what happened. Or, worse yet, the Pack. No; if he didn't recognize that I was the one with him then our families might become suspicious, but not entirely certain that anything had occurred.

The first thing that he asked me was, "What do you want?"

I shrugged, entirely nonchalant about the whole thing. "Why do you want me?"

For a moment he was entirely silent. Though he never answered the question I don't think I ever actually wanted to know. That would make it entirely too personal, and this was something that needed to be as remote as possible.

"Bella won't like this…" he'd murmured in a quiet voice. It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than me. I chuckled at the irony.

"Do you think that the rest of the family will be any happier? I doubt they'll welcome us both back with open arms," I'd tried to explain but he'd started to irritate me. He just wasn't making it about the feeling like he was supposed to; he was trying to justify this in terms of _love_. How human…

"Nessie…" he'd breathed and I nearly stopped right there. The though of betraying my niece, this wasn't right. I'd quickly shaken my head. It wasn't about family, or love, or even betrayal; this was strictly a feeling between the two of us that simply had to be acted upon or we'd crumble and fall. We needed this more than anyone or anything else.

Rolling my eyes I'd stepped as close as I dared to him and whispered, "Renesmee won't be ready for this for years. Just think of this as tiding you over until she's ready. You always wanted this with Bella…"

He'd growled and nearly turned around to undoubtedly glare at me. "It's not like that anymore and you know it damn it! What about you and that giant monster you call a mate? He not packing it for you anymore?"

I'd stiffened at that but brushed it off as quickly as everything else. Of course Emmett was still enough; I loved him with all my heart. The only thing that led me to Jacob was the look we'd shared. Emmett made me feel loved, protected, needed. Jacob had made me feel _wanted_, with just one look.

I'd wanted to convey all of this to him, have him know that this was just what I wanted it to seem like: a casual lay. Instead I'd grumbled, "Is Renesmee not enough for you either? Is that why _you're_ here?"

I'd expected him to get mad, to stomp away into the surrounding forestry and never speak of this incident again. But he'd just stood there and finally sighed, "I see your point."

I'd stood still for what felt like eternity, but what was probably in reality a mere few seconds as I decided what to do next. Instead of thinking I'd allowed my body to take over and stepped behind the young wolf. I remember bringing my hands around the front of him, glad that he'd just changed back from his wolf form so that his torso was still naked. I raked my steel like nails down his chest, nearly pulling away at the scalding intensity of his skin. But Jacob had hissed at my attentions, a sound that I had, at first, mistaken for one of hesitation rather than pleasure.

To reassure him I whispered, "Just pretend…"

His tense body had relaxed under mine and he'd breathed back, "Nessie…"

So it was there, in the darkened wood far away from our friends and family with a piece of cloth over his eyes to avoid his seeing me, that we committed the most ultimate of sins. Cheating on our own kind as vampires is an especially heinous social crime; one does not love for nothing when you expect to be together for millennia. With werewolves, I have heard, it is close to impossible to stay away from your 'imprinted intended'. Yet Jacob and I, the two who'd disliked our transformations so much at the beginning, who resented the fact that we considered ourselves monsters, broke all boundaries and did what we would like.

The one visit ended and I headed back home as though nothing had even occurred. Jacob went down to La Push and no one suspected a thing. He told me, as we were seated in the living room watching Renesmee play with Esme in the dining room, that the pack knew nothing. Even when he actually thought about the encounter all he could remember were the sensations and the pretending that it was Nessie. With a bunch of mongrels that were nearly all imprinted, they completely understood and waved it off as a dream of sorts.

We swore it would never happen again, that the one time would haunt us forever. Weeks went by and our family grew and changed, molded into a way of life that kept everyone happy. Until the day that Renesmee started her period.

The smell of Renesmee in heat nearly sent the entire house into a frenzy, and though Carlisle swore that she would stop after only a few days it wasn't enough to calm Jacob. Hardly a minute went by that Edward wasn't growling at the wolf for having impure thoughts of her until finally he was threatening to eat him for breakfast if he didn't take his ass down to the reservation and stay there. I nearly laughed at the hilarity of it all, but as he was leaving he gave me 'the Look' again.

His eyes smoldered as his face contorted into a grimace of absolutely painful frustration. Which is why I'm out now, in the dead of night, pretending to go hunting to avoid everyone else's prying eyes. I'm almost there now; I can smell where his scent will end. Sure enough, I skid to a stop and there he is. The waning moonlight above bathes him in a liquid glow. Without words he growls, his needs nearly palpable even from a distance. I chuckle low in my throat and step behind him once more.

"Last time," he snarls at me and I resist the urge to bite him for his insubordination.

Instead I claw a hand down the front of his chest and whisper, "Relax Jacob. Just pretend…"

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End file.
